better than good enough,

back again

By the lack of dedication I’ve put into this blog I’m sure it’s easy to see how much dedication I put into this effort to become healthier. I was considering just putting it all on my usual blog. Just for the sake of other people hearing it as well. To show some amount of strength and power. But until I grow the balls to do that. I’ll try to be a more frequent visitor. It’s hard to turn to this blog, where I strictly follow health related blogs and see all of the people working so hard. I really tip off my hat. I know the struggle. But you guys are making a name for yourself. I’m not throwing pity on me. Because I could be there too, if I just would try. My reasoning for posting today was that I went to my old middle school for health screenings, due to a health program I’m in. We checked the students (sixth graders mostly) hearing, vision, height, weight, the usual. I was working at the height and weight station with my friend and I walked away with such sadness. Little girls maybe 12 probably 13, going through a very awkward stage were absolutely terrified to step on the scale. I could tell they didn’t want me to know, much less themselves. It was heartbreaking because I remembered that feeling. Having to be near all of your friends. Ranging and size and feeling so different. So set apart. You’re supposed to be young and free to live a happy childhood, but the moment numbers take a toll, everything can shift a bit. I tried to make it as private as possible. I put the scale at an angle only I could see, and tried to keep the few nosy kids from peeking. It just hurt me to see these little girls hurt. They’re hating their bodies at such a young age and I didn’t know what to do or say. I tried to act natural. I told them that it was okay, just step on and off. And they did. And I felt like it meant something to them, and it reminded me how much I want to be in the health field and work with children. And hopefully give them a brighter outlook one day.